9 WHAT ABOUT THE MESS? (and other environmental concerns)

Now that you know how harmless your body's fountain is, the only thing left to say against wet loving is that when it's over, it's not really over. You're still left with a mess to clean up.

The easiest response to this is simply to restrict yourself to activities that don't leave a mess. These would include things you do in the shower or bath, in the privacy of your own swimming pool deck, or when you find yourselves on a deserted beach or lakeshore. In these situations, you can get naked, have a fun time, wash off, get dressed, and let nature or household plumbing dispose of what you've produced.

Of course, bathrooms are not the most comfortable places for lovemaking, and beach sand can turn erotic caresses into agony. The best place for lovemaking is still a bed. But if between the two of you, your lovemaking is going to leave six liters of liquid in your mattress, you're likely to think twice before turning on the tap in bed.

With a little preparation, though, you can have your fun and still sleep in a dry bed. Go to the discount store and buy several plastic shower curtains. Strip your bed, and lay the shower curtains over the mattress. If you have a king sized mattress, you might consider two layers of shower curtains with the seams displaced from each other. Be sure to lap any seams. Now get some old towels or bath mats. Put these down in the places on the mattress where you think you or your lover's weight will be most often. They will prevent puddling. Now make the bed over top of the whole affair, but leave off the top sheet and the blanket. Take the pillows out of the pillow cases and slip them into plastic garbage bags. Then put the pillow cases on over that.

And be sure to have another set of dry sheets and pillow cases handy for when you are done. Also, keep a few plastic garbage bags handy for toting wet laundry in later on.

Now your are ready to be as wet as you like and still be able to dry your bed out quickly and easily.

There is one more thing you must consider before starting your wet love in bed. That is temperature and humidity. It's no fun to be cold. In the bath or the shower, you can control the temperature of the water to stay comfortable. In bed, you will have no covers, and you are likely to be wet. If you live in a cold climate, you will either have to restrict this fun to summertime, or you will have to burn some extra heating oil. You will want the air temperature to be at least 80 degrees Fahrenheit (27 degrees C). Consider buying an electric space heater if you don't want to heat the whole house this warm. If it is cold outside, you will also want to use a humidifier or vaporizer to moisten the air (otherwise you will be the ones moistening the air, with the attendant loss of body heat).

Also, if it is TOO hot and humid in your bedroom, it can take away from your pleasure as well. Your lover's warm stream will just seem hot. A ceiling fan over the bed can be most helpful here -- also, a basin of cool water that you can splash each other with from time to time to cool off. Of course the best thing is an air conditioner. But keep it on low, lest you make yourselves too cold.

If you use any electrical aids (vibrators and the like), make sure they are intended for sex play. They are likely to get just as wet as everything else. Genuine sex appliances are designed to deal with being wet. Use battery powered equipment exclusively -- never any that gets its juice from the wall.