8 WHAT ABOUT THE SMELL? (DILUTION)

You can control the degree to which your urine smells by controlling its concentration. Dilute urine smells less than concentrated urine. Very dilute urine has virtually no smell (or taste) at all. If you have a lot of minerals in your tap water and your partner has been drinking something with a good mineral balance, like fruit juice, you may even find that dilute urine has a pleasanter taste than your tap water.

One strategy for more appealing pee is to consume less of what makes it smell. Unless you are starving, you probably eat far more protein than you need. The excess is metabolized (burned for energy). The odor and color of urine comes from the byproducts of protein metabolism. If you cut down on foods with high concentrations of protein, you reduce the odor. Such foods are meat, fish, dairy, and eggs. Even some vegetables have high protein concentrations -- peas, beans, lentils, and peanuts. For some, cutting down on these foods is not an attractive option. If that is the case with you, then concentrate on dilution.

Of course the strategy to dilute your urine is to drink a lot of fluids (you already knew that, didn't you). Healthy kidneys are very efficient, and can filter off excess water as fast as your digestive system can absorb it. Passing excess water through your system also has a cleansing feeling about it.

Some more tips: You may have noticed that at some times of the day your kidneys shed more water than at others. Consider timing your drinking and lovemaking with your daily rhythms. Avoid strenuous activity or spending time in the hot sun (i.e. avoid sweating) in the hours before your lovemaking. Also avoid salt in those hours. And don't eat asparagus.

Of course there is the question of what to drink. Water is good but gets boring. Here are some thoughts on other beverages. Fruit juice tastes great and you can drink large amounts without any negative side effects at all. If you are planning an afternoon of lovemaking, you might consider buying several bags of citrus fruit and have a juicing and drinking party with your lover ahead of time. Sports drinks like Gatoraid are good too. I have a special fondness for frozen fruit bars, especially Popsicles. Each one is good for four to six ounces of water. But avoid vegetable juices like tomato juice or V8. They have too much salt. Soups also have a lot of salt. Diet soda is a good drink for the purpose, but some of them contain caffeine (and remember that the sweetener will sweeten your urine). I advise against a syrupy drink like Coca-Cola. In the quantities you need to drink it, it's too big a sugar hit. The sugar will make you retain some of the water, besides making you sleepy and sluggish.

On the question of caffeine, it is a mild diuretic and to some it is also a mild aphrodiesiac. Too much will make you jittery, though, especially if you're not used to it. If you are a coffee drinker, think about how many cups of coffee you can normally tolerate before the caffeine makes you uncomfortable. Don't exceed that amount. For reference, three cans of Diet Pepsi contain about the same amount of caffeine as one cup of coffee. Diet Pepsi is typical of caffeinated sodas. If you drink coffee to dilute your urine, switch to decaf after a few cups.

Then there is the question of alcohol. If you are going to consume an alcoholic beverage to dilute your urine, beer is best because it is already dilute. A small amount of alcohol can be useful for dissolving inhibitions over what you plan to do. But large amounts of alcohol detract from the sexual pleasure and ability. After several beers, you might want to switch to a soft drink. If you love beer, you might consider a nonalcoholic brew for filling up on.

And how much fluid should you drink? I like to drink a lot and have my lover do the same. During lovemaking, I don't want to worry about fluid economy. I want to feel free to let it out whenever fancy strikes me, knowing that more is soon to come. If you consume three liters (about 96 ounces), you will begin to feel the urge in about 45 minutes, and thereafter every 15 to 20 minutes for several hours. That, of course, is a lot to drink all at once. So instead, drink a 12 ounce can every 5 or 10 minutes. And once things begin to flow, you can continue drinking during your lovemaking hours to prolong the fun.

If you drink this much fluid, your urine will smell and taste like water, though it will retain some of the flavor of whatever you are drinking. If your lover's urine is this dilute and you choose to drink it, it can do no harm.

If you want to try something really exotic, have you or your partner drink a little cologne (don't drink oil based perfumes, though) and see what that does to your urine. Since the cologne manufacturers know that there are alcoholics who are most certainly going to drink this stuff, colognes are made to be nontoxic (but do check the label first for any warnings). Keep in mind that colognes contain alcohol, and that they are more expensive than your average drink.

One final note. Don't use any strong diuretic drugs as part of your sex play. They can make you feel dried out and uncomfortable.